What’s real?

What if reality isn’t something that happens to us, but something we create?

Is what we call reality something objective and external that we just happen to observe and can only react to? An absolute truth, universally recognized, one that we all perceive equally?
Or is it something subjective and internal? A figment of our own imagination? Nothing more than an interpretation of whatever tiny fragments our limited senses pick up on?

In other words, is reality something we only passively observe, or something we actively create?

What kind of question is that anyway?

What’s real? Real is what we see, hear, smell, touch, taste, and feel. That’s what’s real. Everything that’s happening around us is real. I’m real. How can I, or what I see be a figment of my imagination? Are you crazy?

Besides, who even cares? Why does it matter?

Why does it matter?
What a great question. Can’t wait to get to it.

But before I do, I just want to get one thing quickly out of the way. I don’t know about you, but there aren’t many things I dislike more than when you open a video or click on a text titled with a question… and then never get a proper answer. So let’s not do that. Let’s start with one.

Here it goes:

Whatever we believe to be real is real. Simple as that.

What do you mean, “simple as that”?
And how can what we believe be real? That makes no sense at all. You’re out of your mind.

We’ll get to that.
But first, why should anyone care about what’s real and what reality is?

You’ve probably seen this topic before, on TikTok, YouTube, Facebook. It’s not like it’s new.

Maybe you’ve come across it but never gave it much thought. Nobody could blame you. It sounds like some science-fiction fairy tale. Definitely not something to spend your precious time on.

So why would you care? Why should anyone care?

Well, we still don’t know enough for anyone to claim, without any shadow of a doubt, that reality is an objective, absolute truth.

That means that whether reality is something we passively observe or actively create isn’t a matter of science. It’s a matter of acceptance.

We essentially accept the notion that reality is an external phenomenon over which we have no power or control. We believe that we passively observe it and feel that we are affected by it simply because nobody has ever shown us otherwise.

But if we were to believe, just for a moment, and purely for argument’s sake, that reality is nothing more than our subjective interpretation of the small fragments our senses pick up on… what would that mean?

It would mean that we can choose what reality we experience. That we actually have power and control over it.

Think about that for a second. If reality isn’t something objective and fixed, if we are not just passive observers, then imagine how differently we could live our lives.

Imagine how much pain, disappointment, grief, anger, sadness, anxiety, and hardship you could save yourself.

Wouldn’t you want that power? To choose what you experience. To choose what you feel. To choose what you live?

Not only is that possible, you can start doing it today.

How can that be? You wonder. How can such a thing be possible?

Let me show you.

Now, this is not going to be another sciency text filled with niche terminology you need a PhD to understand.

Although, you might find it interesting to learn that out of everything there is to see, the human eye can only detect about 0.0035%, and that out of everything there is to hear, we are able to detect only around 0.0037%.

I don’t know about you, but I remember having my mind blown when I learnt that things feel solid not because they’re actually solid, but because of electromagnetic forces between atoms.

If you’re interested in learning a bit more about this, look into how the Pauli Exclusion Principle and Electromagnetic repulsion create the sensation of touch. Basically, solidity or the perception of solid objects that we touch is just a property of electromagnetic interactions and not a true physical connection between solid matter. 

You can also find a lot of intriguing facts and implications in quantum field theory, the wave-particle duality of quantum particles or the observer effect in double slit experiment. 

But, as I said before, we are not going to go into the scientific intricacies of it all. Although these are fascinating topics to look into, let’s bring it back to something simple.

Let’s see how it can be possible for our reality to be whatever we believe to be real, in terms we can all relate to.

Snow

Nobody can argue whether snow is real or not. We can see that it’s snowing. It has nothing to do with what we believe, right?

Now this is where it gets interesting.

The real question isn’t whether we can all perceive the same physical things because we can all equally perceive snow.

The real question is: Do we all experience the same thing?

This, right here is really what we are talking about. Is reality a shared experience where we all experience the same thing under the same circumstances or is reality something subjective where, even under the same set of circumstances, different people experience different things?

For someone who’s spent winters shoveling driveways and slipping on icy sidewalks, snow can feel like a nuisance. A white pest falling from the sky to make life miserable. To lock you in and destroy your cars.

For someone from the tropics, however, who’s never seen snow in person, that same snow can easily be magical. The stuff of movies and fairy tales come to life.

So here we have these two people, coming from completely different backgrounds and previous experiences, standing next to one another, both experiencing the same snow. One person is going to be completely indifferent, jaded or maybe even annoyed by this white nuisance falling from the sky. The other person, however, is most likely going to have the best time of their life under the wonderful and magical white stuff of fairy tales.

Objectively, snow is just frozen water falling from the sky.
Subjectively, it’s either a wonder or hassle, depending on who you are asking.

The difference?
Previous experience and personal beliefs of two different individuals. Someone from, let’s say Canada, could have led a life where all their previous experience could have made them believe that snow is a horrible pest. That reality of snow being a horrible pest has nothing to do with snow itself. Snow is snow. It doesn’t know how to be anything else other than what it is. Just a natural result of certain atmospheric conditions. But our previous experience creates our own personal, subjective perspective or impression of snow and that, in turn, shapes our reality of experiencing the snow.

Knowing this, knowing that our reality of experiencing snow is subjective, what is preventing us from choosing a different reality. 

This is where we can step out of the role of a passive observer, controlled by past experiences, social programming, and cultural bias and step into the role of an active creator of reality.

Example: You lose your job.

The objective reality is that you don’t know what’s coming next.
You have no way of knowing what effect this event will have on your life.

Now, what happens in these kinds of situations is that your previous experience of not having a job and your current knowledge of the job market may lead you to believe, and that really is the key word here, believe, that you’re in trouble.

You can feel panic, anger, disbelief, sadness, depression, dejection, etc. not because it’s a natural and inevitable reaction to losing a job, but because your mind is telling you that’s what you should feel.

What really happens is that your mind is taking everything that you have been through and learned so far, mashes it up with you losing your job and then creates, at that moment, just an imaginary scenario of what happens next and what losing your job means. Then, the mind projects that science fiction story to your awareness making you believe that it is real. You, being a passive observer of this process, believe the fable in your mind and start feeling accordingly. Not because you have to, but because you believed the imaginary story in your mind. And remember, it is only imaginary because you have no way of knowing what’s going to really happen next. At this point, it’s all in your mind.

Now let’s flip it.

The same event happens. You lose your job. Your mind does the same. It takes everything that you have been through and learned so far, mashes it up with you losing your job and creates an imaginary scenario of what will happen next and what losing your job means. Then, the mind projects that science fiction story to your awareness trying to make you believe that it is real. Only this time, instead of being just an audience, passively observing that fictitious story, you decide to, consciously, create your own story. 

What story would you choose?

Why not one where losing your job had to happen so you could move on to something better?

Use that creative mind of yours to create a story in which you are now going to have the opportunity to get an even better job. Better paid. Maybe even better hours. One that is fulfilling. One that offers better work/life balance. And why not all of that.

Again, there is no objective and scientific way of knowing that this scenario can’t happen. 

Now, if what you will have in your head are just imaginary scenarios, then why not choose the one that is in your favour. I mean, if you are going to tell yourself anything, why not make it something good? 

And that, right there, is how you choose your reality.

It’s not about external events or circumstances. It’s about the experience we choose to live out.

Whenever you notice something negative playing out in your mind, take creative control and rewrite the story. Make up a new one. A better one.

Remember, that first negative story was made up too.

Everything in our minds is made up.

It’s a well-known fact that, of the tiny amount our senses pick up, we’re consciously aware of only a small portion that we are focusing on.

For example, a pregnant woman will, all of a sudden, see pregnant women all around her when before she got pregnant, she could hardly notice any of them. 

Someone who, for whatever reason, is focused on any particular number, will see that number everywhere. 

Or when you drive, how many traffic signs do you properly register? Now, if someone told you they were going to give you a 1000 pounds, dollars, euros, or whatever other currency, for every single traffic sign you register, how many do you think you would notice?

In all these examples, our eyes always pick up the same amount of information but our brain only shows us what matches our current focus.

So, of the 0.0035% we see and 0.0037% we hear, we are aware of only a small portion that we are consciously focusing on. Some professions like police, military, special forces, intelligence services, etc. can train that ability to be more effective and for people to register more of what is perceived but it still remains true that of the small percentage we do see and hear, we are not even fully aware of all of it. 

We could say, then, that it’s not what we see and hear that’s real, but what we focus on.

If you focus on yellow cars, you will see yellow cars everywhere. If you don’t focus on a yellow car, you won’t see any. If you are focused on people jogging, you will see them everywhere. If you couldn’t care less about jogging, you won’t notice anyone jogging. 

Focus on opportunities, and you will only see opportunities. You won’t even notice any potential obstacles. Focus on the obstacles, on the other hand, and you will only see obstacles. You will not even notice the opportunities around you.

Focus on how great your life is, and you’ll see evidence of that everywhere.
Focus on how bad it is, and you’ll see that too.

Focus on the good in people, you’ll find good in everyone.
Focus on the bad and you’ll find bad in everyone.

The truth is, our brains don’t show us the full picture. They show us just enough to get by. And then, with the little information we do catch, our minds get creative. To make sense of those fragments, they fill gaps with memory, expectation, belief, previous experiences and current knowledge until suddenly, we feel certain that this is reality. So what feels like solid ground is often just a patchwork our brains stitched together.

That’s why two people can witness the same thing and walk away with completely different stories.

Remember the snow?

Here’s another. Watch a sports analysis show. Multiple experts, one sporting event, multiple realities. They all watched the same athletes, the same referees, the same competition. But when they explain what really happened, their opinions often clash. Are they lying? No. Each is simply speaking from their reality.

And it doesn’t stop there.

Our families, cultures, and the stories we grow up with all teach us how to label the world. What to fear, what to celebrate, what to expect. Not because these things are universally true, but because that’s what others around us came to believe.

We, then, carry those beliefs like invisible glasses, and through them we interpret everything we see not even realizing we’re wearing them. We call it reality, but really, it’s just our reality.

And here lies our greatest power:
Once we understand that what we’re experiencing is only our reality, we can get creative. We can write, create, and choose our own reality.

The truth is, reality isn’t this neat, objective thing we all share the same way.
It’s filtered, shaped, and colored by how each of us sees the world.

Reality isn’t the world itself, it’s how we interpret it.

That’s why all the arguments about who’s right and who’s wrong are endless and pointless.
Everyone is defending the version of reality their mind has built.

And within the world they’ve come to believe in, everyone is right. And everyone else is wrong.

So, what’s real?

Whatever you choose to believe.

And maybe the real freedom lies in realizing that one simple word, choose.

Thank you for sticking with me till the end. I appreciate it. Immensely. Choose your reality wisely, purposefuly and creatively.